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[fleurdesel]

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Adelaide

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hidden in the sea of shame and milk. Milky shame.

[fleurdesel]

He made a choice he can't ever take back. Lauren...I do not know what took him, then. He seemed so angry, so afraid. I cannot undo what has been done.

[ But she can attempt to build something better so such things cannot happen again. More than not finding sleep restful- she cannot dawdle in the time she has, the works she does. It must matter.

It does matter.

She is silent for a long moment, swallowing wine and bitter memory both as she listens for something, anything of Ruby's to turn the mood. That soft breath cuts her- the weight should not be what she'd spoken of. Not when Ruby wished something lighter, easier. ]

...are you all right, Miel Loup?

Legendairy shame D8

[eviscerates]

I'm fine.

( Not blunt or terse; bright, eager, the way she always tries to be. But if Adelaide were there looking at her then the painful waver at the corner of her mouth would be obvious, the shine in her eyes would give her away and Ruby would have to look anywhere else because she's always giving too much away with her face.

It doesn't leave her voice totally convincing when she feels so much.

A breath of laughter, self mocking. Take two: less waver, still too raw. ) I'm fine. Don't worry about me.

( A bit desperately, only her eagerness to talk about not her and not so much in her tone, )

I think I'm definitely too much of a pain jn the ass to qualify as a honey wolf, though.

( Breathe. ) The working on a better future thing seems pretty great.

1000 years shame

[fleurdesel]

Red-

[ She doesn't believe it. Can't believe it- as much as Ruby may resent that such things she says remain suspect, Adelaide cannot take her at her word when she sounds like that. Not after she so graciously informed her that she did not need to attempt to save her life.

It's okay. You don't have to.

A weary sort of sorrow that sticks to one's soul and drags them down. Adelaide keeps an ear out for that tone, tries to engage in playful banter, in nonsense, in sharing her own hurts as though that might make Ruby's less...

It does not seem to have helped, this time. ]

Do you get to choose your nicknames now? No? I thought not. You remain my honey'd wolf until I think of something better.

Re: 1000 years shame

[eviscerates]

( Somehow that coaxes a laugh out of her - surprised, not entirely okay, but definitely a laugh and definitely genuine. )

Well, Captain, I did just say I'm annoying. Trying to change my nickname seems like an appropriately annoying thing to do.

( She huffs out a quiet breath to blow an errant strand of hair out of her face. )

I mean, honey wolf makes me sound far too adorable.

( this is safer territory, at least. )

[fleurdesel]

Mon Loup Rouge, Ah, no. It does not have the same ring to it.

[ Honey wolf it shall remain.

Quietly, gently, she murmurs between sips of wine. ]

I shall always worry when you are away, Red. I get the feeling you do not have many back home that might do the same. Allow me to make up the difference.

[ A beat. ]

And you are quite adorable, in your own way.

[eviscerates]

I guess if that's the burden I have to bear.

( Well, talk about a way to knock the air out of her. Her reply takes a few moments, an in and out of breath, a cycle of thoughts and of muscles firing for the simple action of curling her fingers in toward her palm.

She considers the gloss and shine for a moment longer before she considers what Adelaide just told her and concluding that it'd be exceptionally cheap of her. That it'd be a lie when Adelaide was just open about something so painful. )

I used to. Snow and Charming and everyone. We were a team. And... then it seemed like I slowly became less and less... They had-- there was a lot going on. Important stuff was happening and there was evil to fight and all.

It's just--

I used to be one of the people they counted on. And I guess they got... they got people who were more relevant to what they needed.

( Hook and Regina and Belle and Robin. Others, maybe.
She can't say it doesn't sting. )

But um, there's that whole lone wolf thing I'm working on, so you don't need to worry that much.

( Even if it means a lot. Even if it means a lot that she even thought it.

Annnnd cue embarrassed laughter. )

Now you're just making fun of me.

[fleurdesel]

Wolves, from what I understand of them, do best in a pack. Even one of two.

[ She cannot offer them much, these rifters. She cannot promise them a way home, she cannot give them anything familiar or solid in this world. All she can do is offer her support. Offer an ear. And for those that have earned her regard and trust, for those that she has come to call friends and for which she has come to care?

She can offer small things. Little promises that are easy to keep. Tiny comforts and gestures that feel as though they ought to hold more weight. ]

In their absence, I shall worry for you.

[ Someone must. It might as well be someone that will be able to help after the worry is over. ]

I would never.

[eviscerates]

We are traditionally better with others, but we also aren't traditionally part human, so...

( You know, what a mess.

But she can't say the thought doesn't make her feel a little better, a little less desolate. )

Okay. But I'll worry about you, too, that's the rule on how that works.

( ugh she is scandalised. )

You would. Captain, I'm hurt.

[fleurdesel]

Humans are inherently social creatures, Red.

[ People do better with people. Even if it is only but one other person- they do better with connections. Ruby is only digging this hole in deeper- admitting defeat graciously is the last bastion of hope for her. ]

I think I can accept that.

[ A soft snort of laughter. ]

I am complimenting you, why is this hurtful?

[eviscerates]

I'm pretty sure that's a technicality.

( Red no, Red shhh.
She grins to herself, a half-hearted effort to keep the smile out of her voice.)

Because! I'm definitely not adorable. Calling me adorable when I'm not is just mean. Salt in the wound.

[fleurdesel]

I am a healer, remember? What have I said of healers and technicalities?

[ Ruby ought to know this by now. ]

What are you then, if not adorable, mm?

[eviscerates]

Pretty sure you said they were the worst.

( :D

Huh, a hum. )

Terrible.

[fleurdesel]

I said we thrived on them. It is as though you are deliberately forgetful when it suits you.

[ She says with a laugh. ]

No, no you are not terrible.

[eviscerates]

That's what I said.

( is Adelaide sure about the no terrible thing? Really sure?)

How about... obnoxious? Flighty? Headstrong?

[fleurdesel]

No, no, and no. None of these tings. Well...perhaps the last, but only a little.

[eviscerates]

I'm impressed you didn't crack on "obnoxious."

Maybe we'll have to agree to disagree.

[fleurdesel]

I do not find you to be obnoxious. Exasperating, certainly, but not obnoxious.

[eviscerates]

I'm-- I'm glad you don't find me obnoxious. Must be my dazzling charm.

[fleurdesel]

Your upbeat and effervescent personality, more like.

[eviscerates]

( thank God Adelaide can't see her right now. She's fairly sure her cheeks are flushed even in the cold - or maybe she could blame it on the cold?

Her laugh might be just a shade flustered. )

You... are flattering me.

[fleurdesel]

Don't be ridiculous, LeBlancs do not flatter. We speak the truth as we see it.

[eviscerates]

I must have done a really good job at conning you, then.

[fleurdesel]

We often judge ourselves too harshly and are unable to see what others might find appealing in our company, yes? There has been no con.

[eviscerates]

If you say so.

( not so flippant as it might be. It's Adelaide, so she's listening. Honour and codes and all; it seems like it'd be rude - cruel? - to keep insisting she's insincere.
Wierd as this all is. )

Does that mean you'll stop questioning when I compliment you, too? Or uh, make observations, I guess.

[fleurdesel]

Now that is entirely different. [ She does not quite drawl, but there is a wry drag to her tone that teases at being such. ] But if you wish to make them, I cannot stop you.