It is a marvel. A city that is less a city and more living art, beautiful, perfect, and of infinite interpretations. There is a reason so many noble families have more than one estate. What you have in Val Royeaux is for show, a sign of wealth or status or influence- what you have for yourself is elsewhere. I do not have many memories of the estate there save for the garden. It is a bit impossible to forget it.
[ Where her magic manifested, the fountain glittering, frozen solid in the summer's night air. She'd been terrified, then. That she'd been whisked off to the Spire had not helped quite so much. ]
Ah...perhaps? I do not know. It would be pleasant to return but- a great deal of what made it wonderful for me was having my family present. Now my sisters are scattered across Thedas with their own families and my parents are busying themselves with my brother's marriage in Val Royeaux. [ Maybe if she took some of her new family with her, though. Shared that safe haven with them. ] With the Civil war as it is- I do not even know if it would be safe. There is a stalemate, or so I have heard but...I do not know.
Larger than life, kind of. ( Cautious, that. Admiring and amazed and cautious. ) I mean-- it just sounds so wild that there's an entire city like that. Art isn't real. Art is a construction, even if it's a beautiful one. And there's... ( She pauses, licks her lips as she tries to work out how she wants to try and articulate it. ) There's ideas about art informing life and life informing art. It's... I mean it's kind of amazing that there's this city that's like art, right? I mean, I wonder.... I wonder how much Val Royeaux feeds off all these things you hear about Orlais, or if it's the other way around, or... something.
( Unseen as it is, she closes her eyes, and huffs out a quiet, ) Sorry. Off topic.
( Sounds like shut up Ruby, no one cares. )
True. But, I mean, if you wait for things to be safe then sometimes you don't get to do anything at all. Not that charging into a civil war is a good idea, just, you know. You can't put off living and stuff.
Exactly. It is beautiful, but it is also a lie, much like the masks most Orlesians prefer. We do not bother with them in the Circle for we are stripped of our titles and our positions in our families as mages. It is irreverent. An enterprising mage may still make a name for themselves in court much like Vivienne, a few of my peers chose that life for their own- it held little interest for me. I could not be a courtier, why should I bother?
[ But she could be a mage. A healer. A researcher- and thus she swore to be the best she could possibly manage. ]
But that- that is my 'before' memory. Simple, perhaps but- it brings me joy. During, now...
[ She takes another moment of consideration, gliding past the suggestion she seek out the cottage. When would she have the time? She would not and thus, it is irrelevant. No matter how much she might wish it otherwise.
For something of the Spire- her research, her students, her mentors- all of it is tinged with that bitter uncertainty- anything of Robert aches just as well. Something else entirely, then. ]
I suppose anything connected to work or research or academics in general is a bit dry and dull- but my preferred element is ice, yes? You have seen this. Normally when a mage manifests their power they do so with an element and that is where their skill lies in the beginning of their training. It is not impossible for a mage to master all elements in the Primal School of magic, but focusing on the one and becoming as best as I possibly can in it is...more or less how I tend to operate when I am learning or working. Something I do to focus or to help relax myself is craft small figures in ice, it does not take mana, it does not take space, and it is an excellent way of clearing my mind when I am stressed. Someone asked me once if I could not work in glass and make permanent sculptures.
I did not think it possible for the longest time, it requires heat and an affinity for such, my skills have never truly been there- but I toyed with the idea all the same. It was only after a galzier visited to replace a window one of the other apprentices shattered on accident that I had an opportunity to work with glass that was already molten- when I did not need to heat it myself. In it's fluid state? I could work it much as I could work the water in my figurines of ice. I nearly burned myself terribly stopping half way through the sculpture, I was so shocked- and so proud of myself for learning this thing. My mentors had told me it wouldn't be possible to use the principles for one method of magic on something so deeply tied to another- the molten glass and yet- [ She huffs a soft laugh. ] Ah, I proved them wrong. Thus began my lifelong habit of attempting to find alternative applications for magics aside from that which we were taught. It is not so terribly narrowminded, the circle- but it can be stifling, no? To learn the one way and never deviate.
But learning that not only I could- but that if I managed what it was I put my mind to make so- I would be praised for it? That was a fine moment.
You look better without a mask, anyway. ( Which is, when she plays it back to herself, kind of forward. Possibly accidentally insulting, and she mouths a silent nothing word to herself for a few agonisingly long seconds before she tries to very casually cover it. ) I mean, you're beautiful, so a mask would be... less...
( Uggghhh. ) Court is overrated. ( With certainty, and a hope to salvage this from her own fumbling bluntness. ) I mean, the dresses are beautiful and the dancing is definitely a sight to see, but I never really felt like that part of things was my scene.
( And that was fine, even if Snow liked to get her to go to these balls and fancy affairs when she and Grumpy were better suited to drinking ale in the gardens.
Anyway, listening. Listening is good. )
Wait, you can just-- you can sculpt glass? Really? ( Quiet and awed, that. Adelaide can sculpt glass, and she taught herself. Red muses a little, as she lies there on the floor of a battered shack, and exhales a slow breath. More creation, really, seems to make sense. It kind of fits with the image of Adelaide she's starting to build in her head - creating and repairing, rather than destroying. )
That's really cool, Adelaide. That's like--- I mean, you create stuff. You put people back together and you create stuff, that's amazing.
( Magic has seemed destructive for so long. Dangerous, really, and it's a kind of strange and wonderful thing to be presented with ways where it's not, and she's not sure she's articulating it all that well. )
Thank you. [ She takes it in the spirit it is intended, and there's that word again, intent but Red truly seems complimentary. And while she is unaccustomed to such compliments when she is this deep in her work mentality it does not register quite so deeply to cause a fluster.
And then Red continues. And it registers. And on her end of the line Adelaide goes ever so slightly pink. ]
Ah- yes. Court is overrated. Something I have to endure, now, if I mean to make use of my name and family's influence to help the mages of the Inquisition and the Inquisition at large. [ And the dancing had been lovely. She does not have near enough opportunities to dance- but it is a waste of time. ]
Well, yes? It takes a great deal more focus and precision than my ice sculptures, but in its molten state glass is quite fluid, though more viscous than water- a bit like working with honey or syrup- which I have sculpted as well on a dare. Usually in a shape that we would pour wine or brandy in the top of that had a slide so it would pick up the flavor of whatever I'd frozen as it traveled down to a glass. Or our mouths. Depending on how intoxicated we were.
[ ah, youth. ]
It is nice to hear you approve- I have long been a part of a fraternity of mages that insists that magic ought to be used to help others and tends to frown on using it in ways that seem frivolous. Sculpting is...it helps no one, truly, it is not entirely productive beyond an exercise in precision and focus. Aside from the weekly lessons in ice sculpting, I do not often have the time.
( Thank God this is a conversation via crystal, or she'd spontaneously gain access to the Fade just so the ground could swallow her up, probably. )
Ah, hah. That sounds like a party I'd want to go to. Something to remember for cocktail testing, maybe.
( It sounds like a party Ruby would want to go to. Sometimes it's still strange reconiling the part of her that prefers to be alone and isolated and the part that wanted to be the centre of the crowd, to be seen. Red sipped wine that one of their neighbours made, Ruby could outdrink grown men twice her size and still win a game of pool. It's strange, being two people, even without the Wolf prowling underneath the surface. )
Please, I have no illusions about my opinions really having a place. ( She says it easily and lightly, dismissive without falling into self-pity. At least, not audibly doing so. In this world her opinions had no weight or worth. Not even back in Storybrooke, where even if people had known Red and knew the part she played always remembered Ruby, first. Her opinions were like air. Her existence felt like air, sometimes, something that could be passed through with no consequence. )
But, I don't know. Isn't... I mean, frivolity can be sort of what makes life living, right? Otherwise we're just surviving, and that's not really enough. Making beautiful things is worth doing. Doing something that gives you satisfaction and peace of mind, totally worth doing. I mean, saying frivolous stuff is bad is kind of like saying food shouldn't have any flavour, right? You can survive on it, but where's the fun? Life should be fun.
( hi her opinions don't matter but she still has convictions about them )
I made a study of it, comparing what went best with which frozen slide. Those notes may yet be in the Spire.
[ If they were not burned. How she kept her head well enough to take accurate notes- she honestly can't say. After the first hour it all blurred into 'tastes more pink' and 'needs more sugar'. ]
Contrary to what you think, they do. Magic is- in your world it seems to have a great impact on many things. Here it is widespread enough to be a problem, but not so much that everyone is aware of it enough to be comfortable. The things we are capable of- I am under no illusions. Mages are inherently dangerous if untrained. And everyone knows it- you have your tales of what you are, the wolf, that everyone knows? Educated or not, peasant or noble- assumptions are made of mages. That we are monsters, that we are demons waiting to happen. My whole life what I can do, even the healing, the creating- it is tinged with that. People see a mage and think 'oh, she'll turn me into a frog' or something like that.
Apostates see me and think I wish to make them think the way I do, like a Circle mage with our rules and means and politics. But you... [ a specific you, a general you, who knows? She will not say. ] You have no such reservations. It is a refreshing change of pace, to be appreciated without fear. To have someone see or hear of what I can do and not be afraid. It means a great deal to me, Red.
[ More than she can properly articulate at the moment- it is selfish, perhaps, that she wishes to spend more time around rifters if only so they might continue to treat her with the same lack of fear or concern that she cannot find among those of her world...and she is not certain she truly cares. ]
Magic is meant to serve man, not rule over him. We are taught to fear our skills in the South. That we are dangerous, that if we are not careful we will become abominations. That fear...makes taking joy in what I am able to do difficult. It makes using magic for anything more than what must be done feel...wasteful? Risky. When I first came to Skyhold I was loathe to do so. Magic is for healing, for building, for teaching. Not for sculpting or frivolity. I suppose in a way this ties into one of my favored memories of after.
It's-- I mean, I think before the Dark Curse it might have been the same as here, except some people didn't even believe in witches and wizards. They knew stories about the Dark One, but... when you grew up in a village in the middle of nowhere, a lot of stuff seemed like maybe it was far fetched. But once you start looking, or... once you knew, you could see it more.
( She goes quiet for a second. ) I can't lie, magic scares me. I've seen things. I mean, I-- I have two different lives that were completely separate and I'm still trying to learn how to reconcile them. Magic did that. I lost who I was, but I... I got a chance to not be Red for a while, too, and that was kind of great. For a while I got to be someone who hadn't killed people and just wanted to see the world and figure herself out. The Dark Curse was meant to take away everyone's happy endings and tear them apart, but...
( But she wonders, sometimes, if she was happier. She knows she was happier, being someone else. )
So, I don't know. I think magic's dangerous. But I also know true love's kiss saved my best friend from a Sleeping Curse, and that wishes being granted can give some people purpose and freedom, they aren't all contracts to take your firstborn child. I mean, fire can burn you, but it can warm you through, too?
( A long sigh. ) I'm not explaining this very well. I think learning how to use something you have is important. If I hadn't been taught how to embrace the Wolf then I'd--
( Be dead, she suspects. ) -- have turned out very differently. Knowing how to be the Wolf without hurting people gives me freedom, and it gives me a way to protect people. But I don't want to be caged up for being a wolf, either.
So maybe some fear isn't bad? I mean, it's smart to be a little afraid of fire. But fire does so much more, right? I'm not saying people should go out and start juggling fire, either, I just think... the world would be worse if we were only afraid of fire and only ever used it practically. We wouldn't have a lot of stuff if we didn't learn to look at it differently.
( She is shaking her head at herself, and her voice is slightly muffled because her hand is resting over her face. ) Some words don't sound like words any more, God. Basically there's a place between ripping people's hearts out on a whim and trying to destroy the world and between living never having fun ever. That's the more succinct way to say all that.
To be without fear or reservation entirely- you would get Tevinter where Circles are prestigious universities and bloodmagic is technically illegal but something of a political requirement behind closed doors. We have a very good example of what not to be. What we had before? Did not work for many reasons, but there were points that may have saved lives. I know many of the elves in the Spire were treated far better in the Circle than they would have been in the alienages. It was not all bad- but it was not all good either. Fear comes from two places, innately. A desire to survive- and ignorance.
I can work to alleviate one of the two. The other is beyond me. The better we as mages are trained to handle our skills, to mind ourselves, to avoid the traps laid before us by fate and the Maker and our own gifts- the better able we will be to help one another with the same. The better educated the people are on what we can and cannot do- the fewer chances there are of mage children never making it to someone that can teach them when they manifest. Fear has its use- but it breeds great cruelty. We cannot change minds, only inform them. Now it is more vital than ever to prove that we need not be feared so viscerally- it is part of why the Council offered to visibly assist in the building of the new barracks adjacent to the hold and the housing in the valley.
If we are seen creating, if we show that our magic is for more than demons and death then we build a bridge. If we are seen as people with hobbies and hopes and fears, with friends and- [ Oh, maker, she's started lecturing, hasn't she? ] Forgive me. You probably did not expect a lecture when you asked after my memories, yes? I have not answered the last.
Yeah. That. ( With another breath of laughter, a sort of resigned element to it. Even though she's not just Ruby any more, there are times when she feels just as lost and stupid and out of her depth that she did before Emma came along and helped her start finding her path. Emma had been her saviour long before she broke the Curse, purely because she believed in Ruby.
It's what makes this search so desperate, really. The in case, the possibility that Emma could be here and that Red hasn't found her, looked out for her. )
No, it's okay. I like learning things. And... there is literally an entire world out here that I need to learn about. Lecture me any time.
( And that is genuine interest, not even a dash of mockery or insincerity sneaking in. Quietly: ) It makes sense, by the way. Everything you're saying makes a lot of sense. But yes, I would like to hear the last memory.
Next time you find yourself in need of a distraction from the rain and the undead, yes? I have a great many, several ranging on the responsible uses of magic, what blood magic cannot do, survival tips, and a few on how to use magic in the kitchen. Those tend to be quite popular.
[ Especially for hungry mages- which when you teach teenagers? Is almost all of the time. It takes a moment for Adelaide to step away entirely from that mental space that came with lectures and lessons, thinking back to her favorite moments after the Spire.
There are more than she'd expected. It is...warming in no small way, to know that she has reclaimed her life enough to have them. ]
First night, here. A few months ago, the start of a new year- the night before there is a great celebration with drinking and dancing and bonfires. In the Spire we had smaller celebrations and were, on occasion, allowed to have them on the roof to watch the sky. But never have we truly been able to simply celebrate among the people, like them. I saw my students who have more reason to fear than I can bear, most days, playing in the snow with children of the refugees- children without magic. There was no fear, just...laughter.
I wished to encourage this and there is plenty of space in the Valley- a few of my older students and I worked together and we made forts out of snow and ice with bridges and slides for the children to use in their games. After a time it became apparent that we ought to take care that they could hold the weight of grown men as well- they were climbing in just as fast as we could create them. It was...frivolous. But I did not care. For the first time since the Spire I did something with my magic that had no true purpose other than to bring joy. And it worked. Mages and templars played like children on these things and I thought, perhaps, that there might be some hope for what comes after.
Responsibility, huh? That a subtle hint? ( Now she's being ridiculous, if only for a moment, before she listens.
And then she's back to sounded delighted and awed. ) That sounds amazing.
( It sounds perfect, actually. Like being free and like the world was full of possibility, even if it was just for that day, for that moment. Maybe the smile is audible. Maybe something like longing is, too, and Red swallows a little dryly, painfully. At least her voice doesn't betray her when next she speaks:)
I would like to place a formal request for a repeat of this ice fortress business, please. Clearly that's the best kind of frivolous. And, I mean, the value of joy... it can't be overestimated. And the value of winning a snowball fight because you have a kickass fort can't be, either, honestly. I'm very competitive.
( A little huff, and then she laughs a little. ) Says something that magic factors into those last too so much, huh?
[ Adelaide snorts softly, not deigning the teasing with a response beyond that faint sound of amusement that forms a solid base for the next huff of laughter at the oh so formal request. ]
I shall need that in writing, signed, sealed, and witnessed. Or you could, perhaps, submit it to the Council Proper and cite morale for a reason for the request. It is not something I can manage on my own; we would need a reason.
[ But what better reason is there beyond 'it might make people happy? And compared to their other projects it would, largely, be free. ]
But if you have ideas- I could start a few sketches. Such structures work best with a solid plan in mind before you start. Improvisation on that scale tend to end in unexpected weaknesses that would be dangerous for those climbing on it.
A drawbridge would require actual hardware- it could be done with ice but the stability would be questionable, even with enchantment. On occasion the most mundane answer is the best. A moat- entirely possible. Fish...that may take some doing.
Or an illusion, honestly, but that is not my skillset. Marguerite may be able to help.
( For a moment she sounds so serious and so stunned, and her entirely ridiculous facade slips. )
Remind me not to be so obnoxious, next time. I feel like one day I'm going to make a stupid suggestion and you'll just take me up on it to teach me a lesson.
Given enough time to plan, materials, and space I am certain we could make almost anything you have in mind.
[ A portcullis, now- would that be cheating? But it would look quite stunning in the right light- fabric shifting, the scratch of pen on paper- Red has her going, now. Something light and mindless. ]
If we are allowing a drawbridge and moat, catapults and trebuchets should likewise be permitted. Scaled down, of course.
[ Perhaps she is teaching Red a lesson right now, even if she sounds as though she is taking this quite seriously. ]
( it is the sound of delight and anticipation, not of disbelief. )
I mean. That would be amazing. ( She feels so concerned. ) You know, this could turn into a kind of epic thing if we put dye in the snow balls. It'd look like a war rainbow.
( She took the suggestion seriously Adelaide wow what have you done )
Colors coordinated to teams, perhaps? Most dyes are expensive but as we are in the summer months we should be able to craft our own with trimmings from plants otherwise used for herbs and poultices.
[ A few other notations on paper- adding to the list of things they need.
First: alcohol. Now: rainbow snow war? ]
If you are able to get The Iron Bull interested in this? He would likely be happy to help see it done, and done well.
I call Red Team. ( Obviously, and yes she is saying that just to be a little ridiculous. ) You can have Team Violet.
Actually, maybe it'd be a good cooperation exercise. Mix up the teams, you know? Templars and mages and wardens and rifters all kinda jumbled together. Solidarity, or something.
( She hums, thoughtful, and it's a relief to be talking ridiculous things. Which seems to happen a fair amount with Adelaide, surprisingly enough. ) The Iron Bull, huh. He'll also be on Red Team.
Someone needs to mind the field and all the players- make certain everything is safe and no one is breaking the rules.
[ Because there will be rules, just so no one gets killed. With this group of competitive personalities it'll be something of a certainty that someone, somehow, will be injured. Having a healer on standby is common sense. ]
You do not even know who he is. You cannot call dibs if you do not know who it is you are claiming.
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[ Where her magic manifested, the fountain glittering, frozen solid in the summer's night air. She'd been terrified, then. That she'd been whisked off to the Spire had not helped quite so much. ]
Ah...perhaps? I do not know. It would be pleasant to return but- a great deal of what made it wonderful for me was having my family present. Now my sisters are scattered across Thedas with their own families and my parents are busying themselves with my brother's marriage in Val Royeaux. [ Maybe if she took some of her new family with her, though. Shared that safe haven with them. ] With the Civil war as it is- I do not even know if it would be safe. There is a stalemate, or so I have heard but...I do not know.
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( Unseen as it is, she closes her eyes, and huffs out a quiet, ) Sorry. Off topic.
( Sounds like shut up Ruby, no one cares. )
True. But, I mean, if you wait for things to be safe then sometimes you don't get to do anything at all. Not that charging into a civil war is a good idea, just, you know. You can't put off living and stuff.
( #hypocrisy )
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[ But she could be a mage. A healer. A researcher- and thus she swore to be the best she could possibly manage. ]
But that- that is my 'before' memory. Simple, perhaps but- it brings me joy. During, now...
[ She takes another moment of consideration, gliding past the suggestion she seek out the cottage. When would she have the time? She would not and thus, it is irrelevant. No matter how much she might wish it otherwise.
For something of the Spire- her research, her students, her mentors- all of it is tinged with that bitter uncertainty- anything of Robert aches just as well. Something else entirely, then. ]
I suppose anything connected to work or research or academics in general is a bit dry and dull- but my preferred element is ice, yes? You have seen this. Normally when a mage manifests their power they do so with an element and that is where their skill lies in the beginning of their training. It is not impossible for a mage to master all elements in the Primal School of magic, but focusing on the one and becoming as best as I possibly can in it is...more or less how I tend to operate when I am learning or working. Something I do to focus or to help relax myself is craft small figures in ice, it does not take mana, it does not take space, and it is an excellent way of clearing my mind when I am stressed. Someone asked me once if I could not work in glass and make permanent sculptures.
I did not think it possible for the longest time, it requires heat and an affinity for such, my skills have never truly been there- but I toyed with the idea all the same. It was only after a galzier visited to replace a window one of the other apprentices shattered on accident that I had an opportunity to work with glass that was already molten- when I did not need to heat it myself. In it's fluid state? I could work it much as I could work the water in my figurines of ice. I nearly burned myself terribly stopping half way through the sculpture, I was so shocked- and so proud of myself for learning this thing. My mentors had told me it wouldn't be possible to use the principles for one method of magic on something so deeply tied to another- the molten glass and yet- [ She huffs a soft laugh. ] Ah, I proved them wrong. Thus began my lifelong habit of attempting to find alternative applications for magics aside from that which we were taught. It is not so terribly narrowminded, the circle- but it can be stifling, no? To learn the one way and never deviate.
But learning that not only I could- but that if I managed what it was I put my mind to make so- I would be praised for it? That was a fine moment.
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( Uggghhh. ) Court is overrated. ( With certainty, and a hope to salvage this from her own fumbling bluntness. ) I mean, the dresses are beautiful and the dancing is definitely a sight to see, but I never really felt like that part of things was my scene.
( And that was fine, even if Snow liked to get her to go to these balls and fancy affairs when she and Grumpy were better suited to drinking ale in the gardens.
Anyway, listening. Listening is good. )
Wait, you can just-- you can sculpt glass? Really? ( Quiet and awed, that. Adelaide can sculpt glass, and she taught herself. Red muses a little, as she lies there on the floor of a battered shack, and exhales a slow breath. More creation, really, seems to make sense. It kind of fits with the image of Adelaide she's starting to build in her head - creating and repairing, rather than destroying. )
That's really cool, Adelaide. That's like--- I mean, you create stuff. You put people back together and you create stuff, that's amazing.
( Magic has seemed destructive for so long. Dangerous, really, and it's a kind of strange and wonderful thing to be presented with ways where it's not, and she's not sure she's articulating it all that well. )
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And then Red continues. And it registers. And on her end of the line Adelaide goes ever so slightly pink. ]
Ah- yes. Court is overrated. Something I have to endure, now, if I mean to make use of my name and family's influence to help the mages of the Inquisition and the Inquisition at large. [ And the dancing had been lovely. She does not have near enough opportunities to dance- but it is a waste of time. ]
Well, yes? It takes a great deal more focus and precision than my ice sculptures, but in its molten state glass is quite fluid, though more viscous than water- a bit like working with honey or syrup- which I have sculpted as well on a dare. Usually in a shape that we would pour wine or brandy in the top of that had a slide so it would pick up the flavor of whatever I'd frozen as it traveled down to a glass. Or our mouths. Depending on how intoxicated we were.
[ ah, youth. ]
It is nice to hear you approve- I have long been a part of a fraternity of mages that insists that magic ought to be used to help others and tends to frown on using it in ways that seem frivolous. Sculpting is...it helps no one, truly, it is not entirely productive beyond an exercise in precision and focus. Aside from the weekly lessons in ice sculpting, I do not often have the time.
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( Thank God this is a conversation via crystal, or she'd spontaneously gain access to the Fade just so the ground could swallow her up, probably. )
Ah, hah. That sounds like a party I'd want to go to. Something to remember for cocktail testing, maybe.
( It sounds like a party Ruby would want to go to. Sometimes it's still strange reconiling the part of her that prefers to be alone and isolated and the part that wanted to be the centre of the crowd, to be seen. Red sipped wine that one of their neighbours made, Ruby could outdrink grown men twice her size and still win a game of pool. It's strange, being two people, even without the Wolf prowling underneath the surface. )
Please, I have no illusions about my opinions really having a place. ( She says it easily and lightly, dismissive without falling into self-pity. At least, not audibly doing so. In this world her opinions had no weight or worth. Not even back in Storybrooke, where even if people had known Red and knew the part she played always remembered Ruby, first. Her opinions were like air. Her existence felt like air, sometimes, something that could be passed through with no consequence. )
But, I don't know. Isn't... I mean, frivolity can be sort of what makes life living, right? Otherwise we're just surviving, and that's not really enough. Making beautiful things is worth doing. Doing something that gives you satisfaction and peace of mind, totally worth doing. I mean, saying frivolous stuff is bad is kind of like saying food shouldn't have any flavour, right? You can survive on it, but where's the fun? Life should be fun.
( hi her opinions don't matter but she still has convictions about them )
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[ If they were not burned. How she kept her head well enough to take accurate notes- she honestly can't say. After the first hour it all blurred into 'tastes more pink' and 'needs more sugar'. ]
Contrary to what you think, they do. Magic is- in your world it seems to have a great impact on many things. Here it is widespread enough to be a problem, but not so much that everyone is aware of it enough to be comfortable. The things we are capable of- I am under no illusions. Mages are inherently dangerous if untrained. And everyone knows it- you have your tales of what you are, the wolf, that everyone knows? Educated or not, peasant or noble- assumptions are made of mages. That we are monsters, that we are demons waiting to happen. My whole life what I can do, even the healing, the creating- it is tinged with that. People see a mage and think 'oh, she'll turn me into a frog' or something like that.
Apostates see me and think I wish to make them think the way I do, like a Circle mage with our rules and means and politics. But you... [ a specific you, a general you, who knows? She will not say. ] You have no such reservations. It is a refreshing change of pace, to be appreciated without fear. To have someone see or hear of what I can do and not be afraid. It means a great deal to me, Red.
[ More than she can properly articulate at the moment- it is selfish, perhaps, that she wishes to spend more time around rifters if only so they might continue to treat her with the same lack of fear or concern that she cannot find among those of her world...and she is not certain she truly cares. ]
Magic is meant to serve man, not rule over him. We are taught to fear our skills in the South. That we are dangerous, that if we are not careful we will become abominations. That fear...makes taking joy in what I am able to do difficult. It makes using magic for anything more than what must be done feel...wasteful? Risky. When I first came to Skyhold I was loathe to do so. Magic is for healing, for building, for teaching. Not for sculpting or frivolity. I suppose in a way this ties into one of my favored memories of after.
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( Adelaide you precious precious nerd.
Well, Red makes a sound. )
It's-- I mean, I think before the Dark Curse it might have been the same as here, except some people didn't even believe in witches and wizards. They knew stories about the Dark One, but... when you grew up in a village in the middle of nowhere, a lot of stuff seemed like maybe it was far fetched. But once you start looking, or... once you knew, you could see it more.
( She goes quiet for a second. ) I can't lie, magic scares me. I've seen things. I mean, I-- I have two different lives that were completely separate and I'm still trying to learn how to reconcile them. Magic did that. I lost who I was, but I... I got a chance to not be Red for a while, too, and that was kind of great. For a while I got to be someone who hadn't killed people and just wanted to see the world and figure herself out. The Dark Curse was meant to take away everyone's happy endings and tear them apart, but...
( But she wonders, sometimes, if she was happier. She knows she was happier, being someone else. )
So, I don't know. I think magic's dangerous. But I also know true love's kiss saved my best friend from a Sleeping Curse, and that wishes being granted can give some people purpose and freedom, they aren't all contracts to take your firstborn child. I mean, fire can burn you, but it can warm you through, too?
( A long sigh. ) I'm not explaining this very well. I think learning how to use something you have is important. If I hadn't been taught how to embrace the Wolf then I'd--
( Be dead, she suspects. ) -- have turned out very differently. Knowing how to be the Wolf without hurting people gives me freedom, and it gives me a way to protect people. But I don't want to be caged up for being a wolf, either.
So maybe some fear isn't bad? I mean, it's smart to be a little afraid of fire. But fire does so much more, right? I'm not saying people should go out and start juggling fire, either, I just think... the world would be worse if we were only afraid of fire and only ever used it practically. We wouldn't have a lot of stuff if we didn't learn to look at it differently.
( She is shaking her head at herself, and her voice is slightly muffled because her hand is resting over her face. ) Some words don't sound like words any more, God. Basically there's a place between ripping people's hearts out on a whim and trying to destroy the world and between living never having fun ever. That's the more succinct way to say all that.
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[ How is that for succinct? ]
To be without fear or reservation entirely- you would get Tevinter where Circles are prestigious universities and bloodmagic is technically illegal but something of a political requirement behind closed doors. We have a very good example of what not to be. What we had before? Did not work for many reasons, but there were points that may have saved lives. I know many of the elves in the Spire were treated far better in the Circle than they would have been in the alienages. It was not all bad- but it was not all good either. Fear comes from two places, innately. A desire to survive- and ignorance.
I can work to alleviate one of the two. The other is beyond me. The better we as mages are trained to handle our skills, to mind ourselves, to avoid the traps laid before us by fate and the Maker and our own gifts- the better able we will be to help one another with the same. The better educated the people are on what we can and cannot do- the fewer chances there are of mage children never making it to someone that can teach them when they manifest. Fear has its use- but it breeds great cruelty. We cannot change minds, only inform them. Now it is more vital than ever to prove that we need not be feared so viscerally- it is part of why the Council offered to visibly assist in the building of the new barracks adjacent to the hold and the housing in the valley.
If we are seen creating, if we show that our magic is for more than demons and death then we build a bridge. If we are seen as people with hobbies and hopes and fears, with friends and- [ Oh, maker, she's started lecturing, hasn't she? ] Forgive me. You probably did not expect a lecture when you asked after my memories, yes? I have not answered the last.
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Yeah. That. ( With another breath of laughter, a sort of resigned element to it. Even though she's not just Ruby any more, there are times when she feels just as lost and stupid and out of her depth that she did before Emma came along and helped her start finding her path. Emma had been her saviour long before she broke the Curse, purely because she believed in Ruby.
It's what makes this search so desperate, really. The in case, the possibility that Emma could be here and that Red hasn't found her, looked out for her. )
No, it's okay. I like learning things. And... there is literally an entire world out here that I need to learn about. Lecture me any time.
( And that is genuine interest, not even a dash of mockery or insincerity sneaking in. Quietly: ) It makes sense, by the way. Everything you're saying makes a lot of sense. But yes, I would like to hear the last memory.
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[ Especially for hungry mages- which when you teach teenagers? Is almost all of the time. It takes a moment for Adelaide to step away entirely from that mental space that came with lectures and lessons, thinking back to her favorite moments after the Spire.
There are more than she'd expected. It is...warming in no small way, to know that she has reclaimed her life enough to have them. ]
First night, here. A few months ago, the start of a new year- the night before there is a great celebration with drinking and dancing and bonfires. In the Spire we had smaller celebrations and were, on occasion, allowed to have them on the roof to watch the sky. But never have we truly been able to simply celebrate among the people, like them. I saw my students who have more reason to fear than I can bear, most days, playing in the snow with children of the refugees- children without magic. There was no fear, just...laughter.
I wished to encourage this and there is plenty of space in the Valley- a few of my older students and I worked together and we made forts out of snow and ice with bridges and slides for the children to use in their games. After a time it became apparent that we ought to take care that they could hold the weight of grown men as well- they were climbing in just as fast as we could create them. It was...frivolous. But I did not care. For the first time since the Spire I did something with my magic that had no true purpose other than to bring joy. And it worked. Mages and templars played like children on these things and I thought, perhaps, that there might be some hope for what comes after.
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And then she's back to sounded delighted and awed. ) That sounds amazing.
( It sounds perfect, actually. Like being free and like the world was full of possibility, even if it was just for that day, for that moment. Maybe the smile is audible. Maybe something like longing is, too, and Red swallows a little dryly, painfully. At least her voice doesn't betray her when next she speaks:)
I would like to place a formal request for a repeat of this ice fortress business, please. Clearly that's the best kind of frivolous. And, I mean, the value of joy... it can't be overestimated. And the value of winning a snowball fight because you have a kickass fort can't be, either, honestly. I'm very competitive.
( A little huff, and then she laughs a little. ) Says something that magic factors into those last too so much, huh?
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I shall need that in writing, signed, sealed, and witnessed. Or you could, perhaps, submit it to the Council Proper and cite morale for a reason for the request. It is not something I can manage on my own; we would need a reason.
[ But what better reason is there beyond 'it might make people happy? And compared to their other projects it would, largely, be free. ]
But if you have ideas- I could start a few sketches. Such structures work best with a solid plan in mind before you start. Improvisation on that scale tend to end in unexpected weaknesses that would be dangerous for those climbing on it.
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( No, she's not even joking, no matter the tone. She will do it. )
Huh. Definitely. There should be a drawbridge and a moat, for one. We could put fish in it. Icy fish.
( RUBY )
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Or an illusion, honestly, but that is not my skillset. Marguerite may be able to help.
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( For a moment she sounds so serious and so stunned, and her entirely ridiculous facade slips. )
Remind me not to be so obnoxious, next time. I feel like one day I'm going to make a stupid suggestion and you'll just take me up on it to teach me a lesson.
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[ A portcullis, now- would that be cheating? But it would look quite stunning in the right light- fabric shifting, the scratch of pen on paper- Red has her going, now. Something light and mindless. ]
If we are allowing a drawbridge and moat, catapults and trebuchets should likewise be permitted. Scaled down, of course.
[ Perhaps she is teaching Red a lesson right now, even if she sounds as though she is taking this quite seriously. ]
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( it is the sound of delight and anticipation, not of disbelief. )
I mean. That would be amazing. ( She feels so concerned. ) You know, this could turn into a kind of epic thing if we put dye in the snow balls. It'd look like a war rainbow.
( She took the suggestion seriously Adelaide wow what have you done )
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[ A few other notations on paper- adding to the list of things they need.
First: alcohol. Now: rainbow snow war? ]
If you are able to get The Iron Bull interested in this? He would likely be happy to help see it done, and done well.
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Actually, maybe it'd be a good cooperation exercise. Mix up the teams, you know? Templars and mages and wardens and rifters all kinda jumbled together. Solidarity, or something.
( She hums, thoughtful, and it's a relief to be talking ridiculous things. Which seems to happen a fair amount with Adelaide, surprisingly enough. ) The Iron Bull, huh. He'll also be on Red Team.
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[ Because there will be rules, just so no one gets killed. With this group of competitive personalities it'll be something of a certainty that someone, somehow, will be injured. Having a healer on standby is common sense. ]
You do not even know who he is. You cannot call dibs if you do not know who it is you are claiming.
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( This is ridiculous. Adelaide is ridiculous. Ruby is definitely not ridiculous, she's 100% sensible in this scenario.)
I mean, if you're into rules maybe you should.
( c: )
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This is just a game, a battle of some manner of wit. Somehow. How did they get here again? ]
Open signups with the understanding that teams will be randomly assigned. That will be the most fair.
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( which is her btw sorry Adelaide )
Sounds fair. Does the winning team get anything?
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[ Even for a hypothetical. ]
Something that would be pleasing to win, but nothing that will cause upset if others lose their chance for it.
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