I made a study of it, comparing what went best with which frozen slide. Those notes may yet be in the Spire.
[ If they were not burned. How she kept her head well enough to take accurate notes- she honestly can't say. After the first hour it all blurred into 'tastes more pink' and 'needs more sugar'. ]
Contrary to what you think, they do. Magic is- in your world it seems to have a great impact on many things. Here it is widespread enough to be a problem, but not so much that everyone is aware of it enough to be comfortable. The things we are capable of- I am under no illusions. Mages are inherently dangerous if untrained. And everyone knows it- you have your tales of what you are, the wolf, that everyone knows? Educated or not, peasant or noble- assumptions are made of mages. That we are monsters, that we are demons waiting to happen. My whole life what I can do, even the healing, the creating- it is tinged with that. People see a mage and think 'oh, she'll turn me into a frog' or something like that.
Apostates see me and think I wish to make them think the way I do, like a Circle mage with our rules and means and politics. But you... [ a specific you, a general you, who knows? She will not say. ] You have no such reservations. It is a refreshing change of pace, to be appreciated without fear. To have someone see or hear of what I can do and not be afraid. It means a great deal to me, Red.
[ More than she can properly articulate at the moment- it is selfish, perhaps, that she wishes to spend more time around rifters if only so they might continue to treat her with the same lack of fear or concern that she cannot find among those of her world...and she is not certain she truly cares. ]
Magic is meant to serve man, not rule over him. We are taught to fear our skills in the South. That we are dangerous, that if we are not careful we will become abominations. That fear...makes taking joy in what I am able to do difficult. It makes using magic for anything more than what must be done feel...wasteful? Risky. When I first came to Skyhold I was loathe to do so. Magic is for healing, for building, for teaching. Not for sculpting or frivolity. I suppose in a way this ties into one of my favored memories of after.
It's-- I mean, I think before the Dark Curse it might have been the same as here, except some people didn't even believe in witches and wizards. They knew stories about the Dark One, but... when you grew up in a village in the middle of nowhere, a lot of stuff seemed like maybe it was far fetched. But once you start looking, or... once you knew, you could see it more.
( She goes quiet for a second. ) I can't lie, magic scares me. I've seen things. I mean, I-- I have two different lives that were completely separate and I'm still trying to learn how to reconcile them. Magic did that. I lost who I was, but I... I got a chance to not be Red for a while, too, and that was kind of great. For a while I got to be someone who hadn't killed people and just wanted to see the world and figure herself out. The Dark Curse was meant to take away everyone's happy endings and tear them apart, but...
( But she wonders, sometimes, if she was happier. She knows she was happier, being someone else. )
So, I don't know. I think magic's dangerous. But I also know true love's kiss saved my best friend from a Sleeping Curse, and that wishes being granted can give some people purpose and freedom, they aren't all contracts to take your firstborn child. I mean, fire can burn you, but it can warm you through, too?
( A long sigh. ) I'm not explaining this very well. I think learning how to use something you have is important. If I hadn't been taught how to embrace the Wolf then I'd--
( Be dead, she suspects. ) -- have turned out very differently. Knowing how to be the Wolf without hurting people gives me freedom, and it gives me a way to protect people. But I don't want to be caged up for being a wolf, either.
So maybe some fear isn't bad? I mean, it's smart to be a little afraid of fire. But fire does so much more, right? I'm not saying people should go out and start juggling fire, either, I just think... the world would be worse if we were only afraid of fire and only ever used it practically. We wouldn't have a lot of stuff if we didn't learn to look at it differently.
( She is shaking her head at herself, and her voice is slightly muffled because her hand is resting over her face. ) Some words don't sound like words any more, God. Basically there's a place between ripping people's hearts out on a whim and trying to destroy the world and between living never having fun ever. That's the more succinct way to say all that.
To be without fear or reservation entirely- you would get Tevinter where Circles are prestigious universities and bloodmagic is technically illegal but something of a political requirement behind closed doors. We have a very good example of what not to be. What we had before? Did not work for many reasons, but there were points that may have saved lives. I know many of the elves in the Spire were treated far better in the Circle than they would have been in the alienages. It was not all bad- but it was not all good either. Fear comes from two places, innately. A desire to survive- and ignorance.
I can work to alleviate one of the two. The other is beyond me. The better we as mages are trained to handle our skills, to mind ourselves, to avoid the traps laid before us by fate and the Maker and our own gifts- the better able we will be to help one another with the same. The better educated the people are on what we can and cannot do- the fewer chances there are of mage children never making it to someone that can teach them when they manifest. Fear has its use- but it breeds great cruelty. We cannot change minds, only inform them. Now it is more vital than ever to prove that we need not be feared so viscerally- it is part of why the Council offered to visibly assist in the building of the new barracks adjacent to the hold and the housing in the valley.
If we are seen creating, if we show that our magic is for more than demons and death then we build a bridge. If we are seen as people with hobbies and hopes and fears, with friends and- [ Oh, maker, she's started lecturing, hasn't she? ] Forgive me. You probably did not expect a lecture when you asked after my memories, yes? I have not answered the last.
Yeah. That. ( With another breath of laughter, a sort of resigned element to it. Even though she's not just Ruby any more, there are times when she feels just as lost and stupid and out of her depth that she did before Emma came along and helped her start finding her path. Emma had been her saviour long before she broke the Curse, purely because she believed in Ruby.
It's what makes this search so desperate, really. The in case, the possibility that Emma could be here and that Red hasn't found her, looked out for her. )
No, it's okay. I like learning things. And... there is literally an entire world out here that I need to learn about. Lecture me any time.
( And that is genuine interest, not even a dash of mockery or insincerity sneaking in. Quietly: ) It makes sense, by the way. Everything you're saying makes a lot of sense. But yes, I would like to hear the last memory.
Next time you find yourself in need of a distraction from the rain and the undead, yes? I have a great many, several ranging on the responsible uses of magic, what blood magic cannot do, survival tips, and a few on how to use magic in the kitchen. Those tend to be quite popular.
[ Especially for hungry mages- which when you teach teenagers? Is almost all of the time. It takes a moment for Adelaide to step away entirely from that mental space that came with lectures and lessons, thinking back to her favorite moments after the Spire.
There are more than she'd expected. It is...warming in no small way, to know that she has reclaimed her life enough to have them. ]
First night, here. A few months ago, the start of a new year- the night before there is a great celebration with drinking and dancing and bonfires. In the Spire we had smaller celebrations and were, on occasion, allowed to have them on the roof to watch the sky. But never have we truly been able to simply celebrate among the people, like them. I saw my students who have more reason to fear than I can bear, most days, playing in the snow with children of the refugees- children without magic. There was no fear, just...laughter.
I wished to encourage this and there is plenty of space in the Valley- a few of my older students and I worked together and we made forts out of snow and ice with bridges and slides for the children to use in their games. After a time it became apparent that we ought to take care that they could hold the weight of grown men as well- they were climbing in just as fast as we could create them. It was...frivolous. But I did not care. For the first time since the Spire I did something with my magic that had no true purpose other than to bring joy. And it worked. Mages and templars played like children on these things and I thought, perhaps, that there might be some hope for what comes after.
Responsibility, huh? That a subtle hint? ( Now she's being ridiculous, if only for a moment, before she listens.
And then she's back to sounded delighted and awed. ) That sounds amazing.
( It sounds perfect, actually. Like being free and like the world was full of possibility, even if it was just for that day, for that moment. Maybe the smile is audible. Maybe something like longing is, too, and Red swallows a little dryly, painfully. At least her voice doesn't betray her when next she speaks:)
I would like to place a formal request for a repeat of this ice fortress business, please. Clearly that's the best kind of frivolous. And, I mean, the value of joy... it can't be overestimated. And the value of winning a snowball fight because you have a kickass fort can't be, either, honestly. I'm very competitive.
( A little huff, and then she laughs a little. ) Says something that magic factors into those last too so much, huh?
[ Adelaide snorts softly, not deigning the teasing with a response beyond that faint sound of amusement that forms a solid base for the next huff of laughter at the oh so formal request. ]
I shall need that in writing, signed, sealed, and witnessed. Or you could, perhaps, submit it to the Council Proper and cite morale for a reason for the request. It is not something I can manage on my own; we would need a reason.
[ But what better reason is there beyond 'it might make people happy? And compared to their other projects it would, largely, be free. ]
But if you have ideas- I could start a few sketches. Such structures work best with a solid plan in mind before you start. Improvisation on that scale tend to end in unexpected weaknesses that would be dangerous for those climbing on it.
A drawbridge would require actual hardware- it could be done with ice but the stability would be questionable, even with enchantment. On occasion the most mundane answer is the best. A moat- entirely possible. Fish...that may take some doing.
Or an illusion, honestly, but that is not my skillset. Marguerite may be able to help.
( For a moment she sounds so serious and so stunned, and her entirely ridiculous facade slips. )
Remind me not to be so obnoxious, next time. I feel like one day I'm going to make a stupid suggestion and you'll just take me up on it to teach me a lesson.
Given enough time to plan, materials, and space I am certain we could make almost anything you have in mind.
[ A portcullis, now- would that be cheating? But it would look quite stunning in the right light- fabric shifting, the scratch of pen on paper- Red has her going, now. Something light and mindless. ]
If we are allowing a drawbridge and moat, catapults and trebuchets should likewise be permitted. Scaled down, of course.
[ Perhaps she is teaching Red a lesson right now, even if she sounds as though she is taking this quite seriously. ]
( it is the sound of delight and anticipation, not of disbelief. )
I mean. That would be amazing. ( She feels so concerned. ) You know, this could turn into a kind of epic thing if we put dye in the snow balls. It'd look like a war rainbow.
( She took the suggestion seriously Adelaide wow what have you done )
Colors coordinated to teams, perhaps? Most dyes are expensive but as we are in the summer months we should be able to craft our own with trimmings from plants otherwise used for herbs and poultices.
[ A few other notations on paper- adding to the list of things they need.
First: alcohol. Now: rainbow snow war? ]
If you are able to get The Iron Bull interested in this? He would likely be happy to help see it done, and done well.
I call Red Team. ( Obviously, and yes she is saying that just to be a little ridiculous. ) You can have Team Violet.
Actually, maybe it'd be a good cooperation exercise. Mix up the teams, you know? Templars and mages and wardens and rifters all kinda jumbled together. Solidarity, or something.
( She hums, thoughtful, and it's a relief to be talking ridiculous things. Which seems to happen a fair amount with Adelaide, surprisingly enough. ) The Iron Bull, huh. He'll also be on Red Team.
Someone needs to mind the field and all the players- make certain everything is safe and no one is breaking the rules.
[ Because there will be rules, just so no one gets killed. With this group of competitive personalities it'll be something of a certainty that someone, somehow, will be injured. Having a healer on standby is common sense. ]
You do not even know who he is. You cannot call dibs if you do not know who it is you are claiming.
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[ If they were not burned. How she kept her head well enough to take accurate notes- she honestly can't say. After the first hour it all blurred into 'tastes more pink' and 'needs more sugar'. ]
Contrary to what you think, they do. Magic is- in your world it seems to have a great impact on many things. Here it is widespread enough to be a problem, but not so much that everyone is aware of it enough to be comfortable. The things we are capable of- I am under no illusions. Mages are inherently dangerous if untrained. And everyone knows it- you have your tales of what you are, the wolf, that everyone knows? Educated or not, peasant or noble- assumptions are made of mages. That we are monsters, that we are demons waiting to happen. My whole life what I can do, even the healing, the creating- it is tinged with that. People see a mage and think 'oh, she'll turn me into a frog' or something like that.
Apostates see me and think I wish to make them think the way I do, like a Circle mage with our rules and means and politics. But you... [ a specific you, a general you, who knows? She will not say. ] You have no such reservations. It is a refreshing change of pace, to be appreciated without fear. To have someone see or hear of what I can do and not be afraid. It means a great deal to me, Red.
[ More than she can properly articulate at the moment- it is selfish, perhaps, that she wishes to spend more time around rifters if only so they might continue to treat her with the same lack of fear or concern that she cannot find among those of her world...and she is not certain she truly cares. ]
Magic is meant to serve man, not rule over him. We are taught to fear our skills in the South. That we are dangerous, that if we are not careful we will become abominations. That fear...makes taking joy in what I am able to do difficult. It makes using magic for anything more than what must be done feel...wasteful? Risky. When I first came to Skyhold I was loathe to do so. Magic is for healing, for building, for teaching. Not for sculpting or frivolity. I suppose in a way this ties into one of my favored memories of after.
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( Adelaide you precious precious nerd.
Well, Red makes a sound. )
It's-- I mean, I think before the Dark Curse it might have been the same as here, except some people didn't even believe in witches and wizards. They knew stories about the Dark One, but... when you grew up in a village in the middle of nowhere, a lot of stuff seemed like maybe it was far fetched. But once you start looking, or... once you knew, you could see it more.
( She goes quiet for a second. ) I can't lie, magic scares me. I've seen things. I mean, I-- I have two different lives that were completely separate and I'm still trying to learn how to reconcile them. Magic did that. I lost who I was, but I... I got a chance to not be Red for a while, too, and that was kind of great. For a while I got to be someone who hadn't killed people and just wanted to see the world and figure herself out. The Dark Curse was meant to take away everyone's happy endings and tear them apart, but...
( But she wonders, sometimes, if she was happier. She knows she was happier, being someone else. )
So, I don't know. I think magic's dangerous. But I also know true love's kiss saved my best friend from a Sleeping Curse, and that wishes being granted can give some people purpose and freedom, they aren't all contracts to take your firstborn child. I mean, fire can burn you, but it can warm you through, too?
( A long sigh. ) I'm not explaining this very well. I think learning how to use something you have is important. If I hadn't been taught how to embrace the Wolf then I'd--
( Be dead, she suspects. ) -- have turned out very differently. Knowing how to be the Wolf without hurting people gives me freedom, and it gives me a way to protect people. But I don't want to be caged up for being a wolf, either.
So maybe some fear isn't bad? I mean, it's smart to be a little afraid of fire. But fire does so much more, right? I'm not saying people should go out and start juggling fire, either, I just think... the world would be worse if we were only afraid of fire and only ever used it practically. We wouldn't have a lot of stuff if we didn't learn to look at it differently.
( She is shaking her head at herself, and her voice is slightly muffled because her hand is resting over her face. ) Some words don't sound like words any more, God. Basically there's a place between ripping people's hearts out on a whim and trying to destroy the world and between living never having fun ever. That's the more succinct way to say all that.
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[ How is that for succinct? ]
To be without fear or reservation entirely- you would get Tevinter where Circles are prestigious universities and bloodmagic is technically illegal but something of a political requirement behind closed doors. We have a very good example of what not to be. What we had before? Did not work for many reasons, but there were points that may have saved lives. I know many of the elves in the Spire were treated far better in the Circle than they would have been in the alienages. It was not all bad- but it was not all good either. Fear comes from two places, innately. A desire to survive- and ignorance.
I can work to alleviate one of the two. The other is beyond me. The better we as mages are trained to handle our skills, to mind ourselves, to avoid the traps laid before us by fate and the Maker and our own gifts- the better able we will be to help one another with the same. The better educated the people are on what we can and cannot do- the fewer chances there are of mage children never making it to someone that can teach them when they manifest. Fear has its use- but it breeds great cruelty. We cannot change minds, only inform them. Now it is more vital than ever to prove that we need not be feared so viscerally- it is part of why the Council offered to visibly assist in the building of the new barracks adjacent to the hold and the housing in the valley.
If we are seen creating, if we show that our magic is for more than demons and death then we build a bridge. If we are seen as people with hobbies and hopes and fears, with friends and- [ Oh, maker, she's started lecturing, hasn't she? ] Forgive me. You probably did not expect a lecture when you asked after my memories, yes? I have not answered the last.
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Yeah. That. ( With another breath of laughter, a sort of resigned element to it. Even though she's not just Ruby any more, there are times when she feels just as lost and stupid and out of her depth that she did before Emma came along and helped her start finding her path. Emma had been her saviour long before she broke the Curse, purely because she believed in Ruby.
It's what makes this search so desperate, really. The in case, the possibility that Emma could be here and that Red hasn't found her, looked out for her. )
No, it's okay. I like learning things. And... there is literally an entire world out here that I need to learn about. Lecture me any time.
( And that is genuine interest, not even a dash of mockery or insincerity sneaking in. Quietly: ) It makes sense, by the way. Everything you're saying makes a lot of sense. But yes, I would like to hear the last memory.
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[ Especially for hungry mages- which when you teach teenagers? Is almost all of the time. It takes a moment for Adelaide to step away entirely from that mental space that came with lectures and lessons, thinking back to her favorite moments after the Spire.
There are more than she'd expected. It is...warming in no small way, to know that she has reclaimed her life enough to have them. ]
First night, here. A few months ago, the start of a new year- the night before there is a great celebration with drinking and dancing and bonfires. In the Spire we had smaller celebrations and were, on occasion, allowed to have them on the roof to watch the sky. But never have we truly been able to simply celebrate among the people, like them. I saw my students who have more reason to fear than I can bear, most days, playing in the snow with children of the refugees- children without magic. There was no fear, just...laughter.
I wished to encourage this and there is plenty of space in the Valley- a few of my older students and I worked together and we made forts out of snow and ice with bridges and slides for the children to use in their games. After a time it became apparent that we ought to take care that they could hold the weight of grown men as well- they were climbing in just as fast as we could create them. It was...frivolous. But I did not care. For the first time since the Spire I did something with my magic that had no true purpose other than to bring joy. And it worked. Mages and templars played like children on these things and I thought, perhaps, that there might be some hope for what comes after.
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And then she's back to sounded delighted and awed. ) That sounds amazing.
( It sounds perfect, actually. Like being free and like the world was full of possibility, even if it was just for that day, for that moment. Maybe the smile is audible. Maybe something like longing is, too, and Red swallows a little dryly, painfully. At least her voice doesn't betray her when next she speaks:)
I would like to place a formal request for a repeat of this ice fortress business, please. Clearly that's the best kind of frivolous. And, I mean, the value of joy... it can't be overestimated. And the value of winning a snowball fight because you have a kickass fort can't be, either, honestly. I'm very competitive.
( A little huff, and then she laughs a little. ) Says something that magic factors into those last too so much, huh?
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I shall need that in writing, signed, sealed, and witnessed. Or you could, perhaps, submit it to the Council Proper and cite morale for a reason for the request. It is not something I can manage on my own; we would need a reason.
[ But what better reason is there beyond 'it might make people happy? And compared to their other projects it would, largely, be free. ]
But if you have ideas- I could start a few sketches. Such structures work best with a solid plan in mind before you start. Improvisation on that scale tend to end in unexpected weaknesses that would be dangerous for those climbing on it.
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( No, she's not even joking, no matter the tone. She will do it. )
Huh. Definitely. There should be a drawbridge and a moat, for one. We could put fish in it. Icy fish.
( RUBY )
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Or an illusion, honestly, but that is not my skillset. Marguerite may be able to help.
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( For a moment she sounds so serious and so stunned, and her entirely ridiculous facade slips. )
Remind me not to be so obnoxious, next time. I feel like one day I'm going to make a stupid suggestion and you'll just take me up on it to teach me a lesson.
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[ A portcullis, now- would that be cheating? But it would look quite stunning in the right light- fabric shifting, the scratch of pen on paper- Red has her going, now. Something light and mindless. ]
If we are allowing a drawbridge and moat, catapults and trebuchets should likewise be permitted. Scaled down, of course.
[ Perhaps she is teaching Red a lesson right now, even if she sounds as though she is taking this quite seriously. ]
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( it is the sound of delight and anticipation, not of disbelief. )
I mean. That would be amazing. ( She feels so concerned. ) You know, this could turn into a kind of epic thing if we put dye in the snow balls. It'd look like a war rainbow.
( She took the suggestion seriously Adelaide wow what have you done )
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[ A few other notations on paper- adding to the list of things they need.
First: alcohol. Now: rainbow snow war? ]
If you are able to get The Iron Bull interested in this? He would likely be happy to help see it done, and done well.
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Actually, maybe it'd be a good cooperation exercise. Mix up the teams, you know? Templars and mages and wardens and rifters all kinda jumbled together. Solidarity, or something.
( She hums, thoughtful, and it's a relief to be talking ridiculous things. Which seems to happen a fair amount with Adelaide, surprisingly enough. ) The Iron Bull, huh. He'll also be on Red Team.
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[ Because there will be rules, just so no one gets killed. With this group of competitive personalities it'll be something of a certainty that someone, somehow, will be injured. Having a healer on standby is common sense. ]
You do not even know who he is. You cannot call dibs if you do not know who it is you are claiming.
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( This is ridiculous. Adelaide is ridiculous. Ruby is definitely not ridiculous, she's 100% sensible in this scenario.)
I mean, if you're into rules maybe you should.
( c: )
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This is just a game, a battle of some manner of wit. Somehow. How did they get here again? ]
Open signups with the understanding that teams will be randomly assigned. That will be the most fair.
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( which is her btw sorry Adelaide )
Sounds fair. Does the winning team get anything?
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[ Even for a hypothetical. ]
Something that would be pleasing to win, but nothing that will cause upset if others lose their chance for it.
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( she deserves it honestly )
Hmm. Too bad you gave away the sunglasses.
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[ Well deserved bias, so it seems. ]
...Not all of them. There were several that were too ridiculous for me to give out.
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( :D )
That might be better as a consolation for the team that loses.
Which will be your team.
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[ Shenanigans, she calls them. ]
...You do realize I am the one that will be designing the course, yes?
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( hmm )
...Maybe we need an independent construction mage. To be fair.
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[ What is this even. ]
That does not remove your advantage of being able to pick teams.
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