That is a terribly specific and worrying trait. Manifestations at twelve are difficult enough on the child. I cannot imagine what it must have been like for you.
I don't remember. Growing up, it was all I knew. It was probably very frightening for Keeper Deheune, though. You can't teach much about magic to a child who can barely talk. From my perspective, it took me some time to realize other children didn't get the same kind of attention from her.
I suppose it doesn't leave you with any envy of those without- most of us were old enough to remember what it was like before. Some were made bitter by it.
I...have been thinking, lately. I don't think I can really help other mages resist demons. It's been taught to me since before I can remember, so it's all just...how I feel about something. Instinct. I can't explain it.
And yes, I wonder what it would have been like if it had taken longer. I'd have been a real daughter and sister for a while. Other children my age and younger were orphans of a plague that came to our clan. I couldn't say if it's better or worse, never having a thing or losing what you had. I know it was...very painful, every time I met my real family, because we loved each other so much and I had to leave again every single time. I mean, I first remember my baby brother when he was around age ten, and we were friends so quickly. I cried for days after we left. Knowing I had that thing once, and I can't even remember it.
I...don't know how much you know about the Dalish mages. But when I came to Clan Ashara, I was the only mage besides the Keeper. So it was sort of assumed the whole time I would be First, and then Keeper when she was gone. She raised me for it. I think she saw it as an opportunity to give the clan exactly what they would need when she was gone. So I...I was never really a child. When the plague came, I was helping her nurse all the sick. I was nine.
Resisting demons is something of a secondary area of study for most Spirit mages and Spirit Healers. We already hear the whispers; learning how to differentiate between that which is helpful and that which will see you possessed is a delicate and ongoing struggle. There, at least, I may be of use.
I have been of how the Dalish pass their mages around as children so that no one clan has too many. [ It wasn't sending them off to a tower but- her tone is less than impressed. ]
We don't have any other choice. Our Keepers are our leaders and guides. They study and protect the lore and lives of the People. But we're not just mages. We're elves who live free. Settling and living together and sharing our lore and protecting our mage children from being sent away is impossible. Clan life is our only alternative to alienages and Circles, and we would sooner die than give up our freedom. But clan life is hard, and it's so hard to keep people alive sometimes. During the plague it wasn't about whether we'd lose someone, it was about how many, and whether our clan would continue on or just die out. When so many are sick or grieving, it's the hands that can work that do the working, even if they're a child, even if they have no parents but their Keeper. There is nothing anyone can do about that.
That is what a good teacher does, whether or not they are being spoken to by one of their students. I hope getting that out of your throat and off your shoulders has helped you.
I don't know the first thing about living in this world. It'd be easier if people like Vivienne had the slightest interest in coming a little towards my own.
...Do you want to get a drink? I'm finished talking about this, I just...really want a drink.
One of the rooms inside the hold- I can send Marguerite to meet you and show you the way- it is a little difficult to navigate. In the meantime I shall warm the wine.
[When she does turn up, she's wrapped in a shawl, but there's also a beautiful silk scarf around her next for extra warmth. Such a fine thing on her is still so strange, especially considering how common the rest of her clothing is, but her fingers rest on it like she's making sure it doesn't stray.]
[ A benefit to being tucked away this far back in the hold- privacy, quiet, and no one minded them using a little magic to keep the brazier going and the air warm. Adelaide motions for Pel to come inside- a far corner set up as a cramped study with what could be a desk if it were taller and two short chairs.
The rest of the room is an assortment of bags and bedrolls, clothing stretched over lines to dry on the far side and several of her students huddled together over a book, reading. ]
Mind your step- I think Henri caught a mouse and brought it here as a friend earlier. Or...brought it to tempt in a cat. I don't know why but... [ She shrugs. It brings him joy, she needs little more explanation than that. ]
Oh. [Pel watches where she steps to make sure she's not treading on a mouse.] You're not worried about it chewing holes in things? Where's a good place to sit?
It is nothing we cannot mend- and having a mouse for whatever reason makes Henri smile. There has been little that makes him feel and act as a child as of late. I would not take it from him. [ There's a soft burst of giggling at the other side of the room, the girls indeed reading one of those torrid romance serials.
Adelaide shakes her head with a faint smile, motioning for Pel to join her at the cushions in her corner. ]
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And yes, I wonder what it would have been like if it had taken longer. I'd have been a real daughter and sister for a while. Other children my age and younger were orphans of a plague that came to our clan. I couldn't say if it's better or worse, never having a thing or losing what you had. I know it was...very painful, every time I met my real family, because we loved each other so much and I had to leave again every single time. I mean, I first remember my baby brother when he was around age ten, and we were friends so quickly. I cried for days after we left. Knowing I had that thing once, and I can't even remember it.
I...don't know how much you know about the Dalish mages. But when I came to Clan Ashara, I was the only mage besides the Keeper. So it was sort of assumed the whole time I would be First, and then Keeper when she was gone. She raised me for it. I think she saw it as an opportunity to give the clan exactly what they would need when she was gone. So I...I was never really a child. When the plague came, I was helping her nurse all the sick. I was nine.
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I have been of how the Dalish pass their mages around as children so that no one clan has too many. [ It wasn't sending them off to a tower but- her tone is less than impressed. ]
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[ She cannot honestly think of what she's said to bring on such a vehement response. ]
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...Do you want to get a drink? I'm finished talking about this, I just...really want a drink.
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[ And to let them know she is alive. Probably that as well. ]
I think I have a bottle of that mulled red you enjoyed so much left, if Roul has not made away with it.
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[When she does turn up, she's wrapped in a shawl, but there's also a beautiful silk scarf around her next for extra warmth. Such a fine thing on her is still so strange, especially considering how common the rest of her clothing is, but her fingers rest on it like she's making sure it doesn't stray.]
Andaran atish'an.
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The rest of the room is an assortment of bags and bedrolls, clothing stretched over lines to dry on the far side and several of her students huddled together over a book, reading. ]
Mind your step- I think Henri caught a mouse and brought it here as a friend earlier. Or...brought it to tempt in a cat. I don't know why but... [ She shrugs. It brings him joy, she needs little more explanation than that. ]
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Adelaide shakes her head with a faint smile, motioning for Pel to join her at the cushions in her corner. ]
Here.