I did. For a few weeks. It was...easier to wallow than to act. I was seventeen- everything feels like the end of the world when you are that young. I know it ended mine when I saw his face with the brand.
[ Even now she wonders if he survived. The Spire had been blood and chaos, screaming in the halls, the sound of thunder and steel echoing forever. ]
It is- it was the Chantry's tradition. It is the first way they found to test us, I suppose. I have never found a satisfactory answer for why something else, anything else, was considered appropriate. Being Harrowed does not stop a mage from possession or prevent abominations. Months ago one of the mages here, a young man named Lauren, was possessed in his sleep and woke as an Abomination. It- we fought. He had to be killed, he was no longer in control of himself. People died. He had been harrowed. It is not a foolproof test.
So we have tried something new, here. Developed a different test, training, something that does not leave a mage so alone, something that does not leave them so vulnerable. We are to stand alone against the demons in our dreams and in our lives- yes. But we need not be so isolated when we wake. I only knew I never wanted to see anyone choose as Robert did. That I never wanted to see my students become like Lauren. There is much to fear in being a mage- but we need not do so because we think ourselves monsters.
I long for glorious cinnamon pearls t-t
[ Even now she wonders if he survived. The Spire had been blood and chaos, screaming in the halls, the sound of thunder and steel echoing forever. ]
It is- it was the Chantry's tradition. It is the first way they found to test us, I suppose. I have never found a satisfactory answer for why something else, anything else, was considered appropriate. Being Harrowed does not stop a mage from possession or prevent abominations. Months ago one of the mages here, a young man named Lauren, was possessed in his sleep and woke as an Abomination. It- we fought. He had to be killed, he was no longer in control of himself. People died. He had been harrowed. It is not a foolproof test.
So we have tried something new, here. Developed a different test, training, something that does not leave a mage so alone, something that does not leave them so vulnerable. We are to stand alone against the demons in our dreams and in our lives- yes. But we need not be so isolated when we wake. I only knew I never wanted to see anyone choose as Robert did. That I never wanted to see my students become like Lauren. There is much to fear in being a mage- but we need not do so because we think ourselves monsters.